Goodbye Facebook!

Yes I said it. Goodbye Facebook! It is deactivated and hopefully it will stay that way for a long time if not permanently. Facebook has been a big distraction (yes it is fun to look at pictures and see what people have been up to - in a stalker kind of a way as opposed to actual communication). Instead of Facebook I want to write in this blog and post pictures (don't worry Mom, you can still stalk me : ) lol just not on Facebook anymore, this blog will have to do). Hopefully this blog will also keep me reflecting and growing in my Christian walk with God instead of wasting my time Facebook stalking people.

So I've been feeling really resistant towards God lately, or maybe I'm just further realizing this. I have been seeing how much of a control freak I am. I like things to go a certain way - my way. I feel like I can, or should be able to, do everything by myself and without help. I always like to have a plan and have never been very spontaneous. I want to be able to plan out my future my way. So handing over all control to God is not easy, comfortable, or desirable at all. I have the "head knowledge" that God has the best plan for my life, that He will always be by my side, and He will help and guide me along the way, but this knowledge has not transferred to my heart. I'm not trusting God with my life. I'm not believing that He loves me like He says He does nor that He has the best plan and purpose for my life. I'm being selfish in holding onto the control of my life so that I can call all the shots. In doing so all I'm really doing is making life more difficult and stressful for myself, but if I simply let go and let God guide me in everything I do then there will be no need to worry or stress because God knows what He is doing (again, this is still head knowledge and not quite heart knowledge). Of course this doesn't mean I wont suffer or go through trials, I absolutely will, but God has a plan "and we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose"(Romans 8:28). So even when things might seem bad/hard/confusing, God has a purpose for it. It's scary because we can't see the end result, but God does and that is where we can place our comfort. God, our perfect Father, loves us and has the perfect plan for our lives according to His will and He's not just going to leave us to fend for ourselves, He is by our side the whole way. Nothing can separate us from the love of God!

I can't let go by myself though. I need God to help me. I need God to place the desire in my heart more and more. Nothing I do will help me. The human nature is not to pursue God, God pursues us and the Holy Spirit that God gave us works through us to chase after God, it is not of our flesh that wants more of God. So in order for my faith and desire to grow I need to go straight to the source - to GOD. I need to pray and read His Word so that God will increase my faith! Reading my Bible and praying is not just something that Christians are supposed to do, it's how we can communicate with God and be in a relationship, and through this relationship God will give more faith.

"I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" (Mark 9:24)